Remembering 5th Grade

Twenty years ago, I was in fifth grade.  I remember it now as one of the best years of my childhood.  Although, I didn't know it at the time.  So often, we don't realize that we're making great memories as they are happening.  And of course, when you're ten years old, that's not what you're thinking about.

At the beginning of that school year, I was excited to learn that almost all my best friends from previous grades were in my class.  Our teacher had a chess set in her classroom, and almost every day she would let us play once we were done with all assignments.  There were about 10-15 of us (maybe one or two girls, but mostly guys) who would try to hurry and finish our assignments so we could get over there and play first.  We kept track of every game all year, who won and lost, and kept "standings".  If I remember correctly, I was in second place at the end of the year.

My back yard at home was big enough for my friends and I to play baseball.  We played almost year round.  If it was warmer than about 30 degrees and no significant snow was on the ground, we were out there.  We played with tennis balls to avoid breaking anyone's windows.  We'd have about ten or so tennis balls that would fly into other people's yards.  Whenever we ran out, we'd have to stop the game, climb over fences, and collect them all.  I also was on a summer baseball team that year with many friends, and my younger brother was the batboy.

I also had a big bedroom and often had friends over to spend the night.  We'd watch baseball games, play Mario and Donkey Kong on Super Nintendo, play "knee basketball" where we had a little rubber basketball and had to "run" on our knees to get the ball into a little wastebasket.  We watched Home Improvement and Full House every week.  We'd listen to the radio: songs like "Run Around" by Blues Traveler, "Lightning Crashes" by Live, and "Better Man" by Pearl Jam got frequent play on WKFR.  Those songs remain favorites of mine to this day.  Whenever I hear some of those songs, it takes me back to that big bedroom of mine hanging out with friends.

I'm not in contact with any of those friends anymore.  But I still have great memories.  And I've been thinking about that lately watching my stepson Noah, who turned 11 this past week.  I see him making friends at school when I go to pick him up each day.  I see the fun he has with friends when they come over to our house (although they get a little too rowdy for my taste sometimes).  I can't help but flashback to those same days of mine years ago.  We didn't have the technology back then that we do now, and pop culture has changed a lot.  But the innocence of childhood is still there.

I've told Noah many times to enjoy this time in his life and take advantage of all these opportunities.  I'm not sure he really listens to me, since many children that age think they have life figured out and can't wait to be an adult so they can do whatever they want and not have adults push them around anymore.  But there are many days, when I'm tired of being at work or worried about paying bills, that being 10 or 11 years old again sounds pretty good.

If you have kids at home, tell them frequently to enjoy their childhood because it will be over way too soon.  There's a good chance they will roll their eyes and ignore you.  But maybe some day when they're older, they will come to you, say that you were right, and thank them for such great memories.

Why I write

I've always felt I'm good at writing.  Speaking?  Not so much.

I'm an introvert.  A lot of people think introverts don't like other people and hate social situations.  That's not the case.  We just handle them differently than others do.

If you've been around me for any length of time, you've probably figured out that I'm not a talker.  Many of my high school classmates referred to me as the "quiet kid".  In many social situations, I say the bare minimum I need to get by and nothing more.  That doesn't mean I'm stupid.  It doesn't mean I have nothing to say.  That's just how my brain is wired.

In high school and college, I always earned my best grades on writing assignments.  Thankfully, I pursued a major in college - political science - that relied heavily on writing and research and less on public speaking, activities, or experiments that required "doing" things.  My friends often wondered how I became so good with the written word.  For years, I didn't know why myself.  I still don't think I fully understand it.

But I've learned more about my personality type in recent years.  I'm not someone who is good at reacting right away to a situation, and I don't like to be the "life of the party".  When something happens, I need to reflect, to think it through, and find deeper meanings.  Sometimes, I do that to a fault.  But when I sit at my computer and type, I'm able to express myself.  I'm able to get my thoughts on the screen, look at them, organize them, and polish them until I get my point across in the best way possible.

Some folks don't need to do this.  They are comfortable having the spotlight on them or responding right away to a situation in person.  That's not me.  Even when I reflect after a difficult situation and figure out how to respond verbally, I still often don't say what I'm thinking in the right way.  I sometimes use the wrong words or flat out don't get my point across.

I feel like I'm getting better at this.  But I'm never going to be the social butterfly or handler of tough in-person situations that some folks are.  I try to be polite when talking to other people, but I'm not articulate.  I know that.  It's never going to be a strength of mine, so it's important that I focus on where my strengths are.

That's why I write.  It's something I need to do.  It provides an outlet for me to sort through my thoughts.  And thanks to the internet, where anyone with a computer can share their thoughts with everyone instantly, I can express myself to the rest of the world in this way too.

So, if you're ever around me in person and I don't say a lot, don't be offended.  In social situations, I'm more of an observer than a talker.  If you want to know what I think, visit this blog.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I plan on posting more essays in the future.  Please check back, I would really appreciate it!

A Lesson on Failure

Growing up, I was always a great student.  I got mostly A's and B's in high school, and that continued through my first few semesters of college.  I worked hard for all my grades, but never really struggled to pass a class or keep my grades up.

During my fourth semester at college, I took an ancient history class.  It wasn't one of my favorite subjects, but I needed it to complete my minor and wasn't expecting much trouble.  For my first assignment, I had to find a peer-reviewed article and write a short two-page summary and review of the article.  I always considered myself to be a good writer, and I had done many similar assignments in the past.  I put my normal amount of effort into the assignment, so I didn't think this would be a big deal.

Several days later, I got the assignment back.  It was coated in red ink, with a big "D" at the top.  I was stunned - for one thing, I couldn't believe I got a bad grade on something I thought I was good at.  But if that's how harshly this professor grades a short essay, what would the rest of the semester be like?

Perhaps not thinking clearly, I tried to take the coward's way out.  I was taking one class over the minimum for a full-time student, so I could drop the class if I wanted.  After getting my test back, I stormed over to the registrar's office.  But I learned the deadline to drop classes and not have the grade count had passed just a few days ago.

Before I completed that article review, I had no idea it may end up being the most important assignment I ever did in college.  It was a wake-up call I badly needed.  I had never really confronted failure before, at least not academically.  And since I had to stay in the class, I couldn't afford to lose time feeling sorry for myself.  I made it a personal challenge to "get back" at the professor by doing well the rest of the semester.

I quickly learned his teaching and grading style and what I would need to do differently from past classes if I wanted to succeed in his.  I worked harder in that class than I did in any other class, before or after.  I took tons of notes.  I spent more time than normal preparing for exams.  And I spent a ridiculous amount of time on the term paper.  I finished the semester with a "B".  I had never been more proud of myself.

After I finished college and went out into the adult world, I confronted failure much more frequently than I ever did in school.  Most adults must deal with rejection many times: in looking for jobs, in dating, and elsewhere.  Sometimes, your best effort will not be good enough.  Sometimes, doing what you have always done to achieve success will not work.  I was mad the day I got that essay back, but now I am so happy it happened.  I was forced to make adjustments and learn a new way of completing assignments.  It was one of the best life lessons I ever got.

If you are in college or thinking about going, be sure to show up with the right attitude.  You don't go to college just to confirm you already know everything.  Realize that there is a lot you don't know and that you are there to learn - not just academically, but also about life.  You have to learn that you aren't entitled to anything, and that can't happen until you decide to have an open mind.  Not only will it help you to get good grades, but also to get the most out of your college experience.

And I hope all of you who go to college get at least one opportunity to learn from failure.  Maybe you'll have a similar experience to mine, when you get a terrible grade on an assignment you thought you completed well.  Maybe you'll fall in love only to have your heart broken.  Maybe you won't get a scholarship you wanted or will struggle to find a job.  At least one of those things happens to virtually everyone.  I know it's not fun.  Nobody likes to fail.  But it might end up being the best thing that ever happens to you.  And if you emerge from it stronger than ever, it's an amazing feeling.

Starbucks and the War on Christmas

The Christmas season is upon us.  Soon we will see snow on the ground with bright lights and Christmas trees all around.  And that also means many businesses are incorporating Christmas into their advertising and rolling out their winter-themed products.

I recently saw that Starbucks is not putting “Merry Christmas” on their coffee cups this year.  Many Christians have decried this as political correctness gone amok and are fighting back.  One pastor famously went into a Starbucks to place an order and said that his name is “Merry Christmas” so they would put it on the cup.

I am a Christian.  I celebrate Christmas every year and rejoice that Jesus Christ came to earth to save mankind.  We see these stories about the “War on Christmas” every year.  When I see what is happening at Starbucks, I am outraged.

I’m outraged that people are making such a big deal out of this.

A private business not printing “Merry Christmas” on a cup of overpriced coffee - a cup that will be in the trash an hour later - does not mean that the folks at Starbucks hate Christians.  And it certainly does not take away anyone’s freedoms.  Last I checked, we still had the right to put up Christmas trees in our own home, give Christmas presents to our friends and family, and attend Christmas church services.  Until someone from the government knocks on your door and forbids you from engaging in these activities, nobody is waging “war” on you.

You may not agree with what Starbucks is doing, but as a private business, they have every right to do this.  For one thing, not all of Starbucks’ customers are Christians.  They don’t all celebrate Christmas.  The company wants their image to the public to be one that is welcoming to people of all faiths and backgrounds.

But besides that, if you are deriving your joy this Christmas season from whether someone at a Starbucks restaurant says “Merry Christmas” to you, then your priorities are way out of order.  I am secure enough in my faith that I don’t have to have it reinforced by every single person I encounter on a daily basis.  God relies on Christians to be an example to the rest of the world.  If you’re a Christian, it is your job to do that for others, not the other way around.

We hear some Christians complain about how we as a society are too easily offended.  They get upset when people are offended by the term “Merry Christmas” or by the display of a Nativity scene.  When we complain about what we don’t see this Christmas season, how is that any better?  Many Christians also didn’t like it when a bakery was fined for refusing to cater a homosexual wedding.  You can’t have it both ways.

When Christians make such a big deal out of something so trivial, it reinforces every negative stereotype that our media and so many non-Christians hold.  Our goal is to win hearts for Christ.  When we are confrontational and let things like this bother us, it only drives people further away.

Instead of complaining, how about we show kindness to each other this Christmas season?  Do an act of charity for someone less fortunate?  Spend time with the people you love the most?  But most important, spread the good news about what Jesus did for us, without viewing those who are not Christians as an enemy.  And if you say “Merry Christmas” to someone and they don’t say it back, choose to still have joy in your heart.